Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize
