I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
