We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
