I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
