Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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