what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm bleeding and have questions
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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