There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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