I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
