If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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