I'm laying in your front yard are you home
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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