smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
