i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
