You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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