I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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