Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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