Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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