are you still at the devil's house?
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
