i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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