no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
