Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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