Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I want a musical about memes.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
