my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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