I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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