Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
