I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
