just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
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