doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
