There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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