last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
