Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
