thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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