Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
