Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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