idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
It's like God shit irony all over that family
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
