I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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