I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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