My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
