Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
