we have pet lesbian snakes
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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