You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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