i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
