dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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