(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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