this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
