Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
