there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
