it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
