whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
