I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
