He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
