his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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